When all the world's sleeping When i am studying, the night always seems longer than usual. suddenly 1am feels like 3am....and when i think about it...sleeping at 4am after spending the whole night doing i-dont-know-what is the same thing as sleeping at 4am after studying. why then does it seem so long. and so dreadful. i've never believed in studying into the night. my parents brought me up to do my work in the day and get enough rest at night to last the day ahead. but then again, "enough rest at night" in sec sch meant 5 hrs a night due to busy schedules. hmm. but im resorting to this because i'm incredibly desperate to do my work before going up to fallscreek this weekend. how i managed to waste so much time is beyond me. i have a mid sem next week. *thunder and lightning* in a way, the solitude is good. i dont think the household is asleep yet though (lou maybe but not michelle). honestly i dont know what we do. but i guess it's a far cry from those days when we can stay up the whole night doing cartwheels (think taylors hostel) ; playing bridge while eating meesiam and someone coming over at 5am to memorize an equation (think marriott). at least activity has reduced.... in the living room that is. there's no one else to talk to online. i love studying alone. but i need someone else to motivate me (+ studying in the lib is really boring me). what a dilemma. *rolls eyes*. im so fussy. i think all i need is a completely new environment. i havent found one that is convenient (i.e. not far away from home like bailieu) yet conducive (i.e. quiet, large tables, not too crowded). i have not found the perfect place yet. i miss bukit batok -__-. speaking of which, someone just got killed at the bukit batok mrt station because she fell off the platform. erm. hrm. a few signs im in trouble: - housemate mentioned that it seems like i just threw a party in my room - i have to dust my books before using them - im torn between using a notebook and using paper -__- well time to get back to pathology. my mum is worried cause she thinks im going mad. im such a naughty girl.

Something's Bugging Me there is something SO wrong with my computer. it's probably a virus. no, a few viruses. it's going mad....it'll threathen to shut down on its own..and there'll be this "error" box appearing ALL THE TIME....erm not to mention it'll close all the windows that are open on the desktop. it has a life of its own i tell u. so. frustrating. i need help. :( speaking of viruses and bugs. I hate pathology. If I can become more paranoid, it is now. don't think about the dust mites in the blankie that you wrap yourself with every night. don't think about the faeces that they pass out which u gladly breathe in. don't think. Just Don't.

random thoughts i ought to stop associating bailieu with naptime. it is shanna's bday. happy bday. after tonight, we would have been faced with cakes 4 times in 3 days. ack. the heart beats 3 billion times (rhythmically!) non stop in a lifetime of an average person who lives till 80. it must be the world's most brilliant machine. the move premiere of "the terminal" will held in changi airport in singapore. how corny is that. haha why is wright theatre always SO cold. why do i feel lazy each time i think about the ski trip this weekend. i need to find something to do this summer. i should go back to studying.

freak out i found white hair!! what's going on! -__-

gno doing what i love with the people i love :) thank you for a good night. (apart from being elbowed in the face by an over-enthusiastic guy sitting in front of me at the transformer rally. oof) :) i am so addicted to katie melua's "closest thing to crazy" i am going crazy. i AM crazy. and at 4.41am, i have no doubts abt that. somethings have changed. i dont make any sense - that's one thing that has NOT changed.

GooGooGaaGaa considering our population is pushing 4million in the little island of singapore, you would not expect the government to encourage marriage and childbirth. in fact, i was half expecting them to come up with some kind of policy soon (no not one child. one child's wayyy too extreme) to ensure we dont each get only a tiny square to bob around (cf new yr countdown parties). but surprisingly, birth rate is a low 1.26... (haha 1.26 kid per family!. 0.26 of a su. can u imagine?) which is way way too low compared to the replacement rate of 2.1. so guess what our dear government is doing? yes! promote marriage and childbirth. and you thought SDU was enough? check this (courtesy of bun) out. wellwell, im not complaining. in fact, i do like the idea. i do not want to be stuck in singapore in 30 yrs being outnumbered by old people. oh yea and... more babies? for me to play. *evil smile* intestinal motility is properly at an all time high now. excessive motion and rapid transit of the contents are preventing adequate reabsorption of the contents. in other words. i have diarrhoea. poor overworked ileum.

Picture not so Perfect like louise, i was making a collage of all the pictures i've taken in the past 2 yrs (shall put it up soon). why not 3 yrs? because the pictures taken when i was in trinity are so ugly :P what a bimbo. a feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed me. i began to feel nauseous. i can just vomit and die. anyway this and this are not helping my fear of flying. i feel even sicker in the stomach now.

Pink Pills for Pale People and if you thought lectures cannot get more fun.... (pharmacology lecture on alternative medicines) dr williams (who?!) had a "special" formula for pale people (can u believe it?!) in the past. it was the pink pill. i wonder why they've stopped producing it. i totally need it. then again, the unregistered ingredients such as mercury and snake's venom are totally uncalled for. another form of "medicine" was electrotherapy where they generate ozone with this wand-like thing to zap various parts of the body. how dodgy is that. i took a picture of it today (yes our lecturer BROUGHT it) but im having problems downloading it. there was the hair wand for dandruff.....chest wand for i dont know what....and they even had an internal wand...ack dont even begin to try to imagine how to use that...: but then i had to give it abit of credit for being so pretty. the wands have a purple glow to it. while looking through my folders, i found this old picture taken last semester. we are the biomedees. we hangout at bailieu basement during breaks. -__-

fur-lee is my newest obssession. haa so what makes a happy su? a haircut, 2 hrs of tennis, avocado, cheesecake, bits of olympics and finding a cousin on friendster (my cousins are all too far away for comfort). a day well spent indeed. well, almost. just needs abit of pathology and it'd have been perfect. pondering: responsibility. and how you ridicule it.

Fight or Flight? i dont know whether to cry or laugh when i go for lectures. Dr LD: "since it's lunch time, let me get you guys to answer me..." *walks up the lecture theatre in search of a victim* everyone awkwardly looked around the LT. they looked at everything but the lecturer. i know i caught myself burying my head in my lecture notes trying to look like im pondering the question. well. i had NO idea what the question was. very evident from the following dialogue: Dr LD: "so what is the significance of XXX" student A: "it is...............*on n on n on* Dr LD: "you'd get 1 mark for that...hmmm how about you? *points mike at someone else*" student B: "it shows .............." Dr LD: "correct!! *starts to walk down till someone caught her attn* oh unless someone wants to add on more details....*pleasedly points mike at another guy*" student C: "HI MUM!" diaong so the lecture went on and i stared at andrew shuffling his papers. su: "andrew why did u take so many handouts? tsktsktsk." andrew: "its the....biomed instinct" (refer to blog entry a few weeks ago) su: "ooo. biomed instinct huh. right on. so andrew, *sees dr LD approaching and looking for extra handouts...* fight or flight?" andrew: "hmm. fight." su: *thinks* no if it's biomed instinct... andrew and su: "FLIGHT!" su: "ya...take and run away.." biomed. tsk. and so i tell andrew...i have a monster as a friend. why do i put up with him writing funny stuff on his lecture notes? ask him to show u one day ;). haha

Congratulations, it's a hit ooo i watched the producers today and it was good. :) we met munkeong and suet beng too. me andrew and eve have rearranged our working hrs to make it more efficient and im no longer working on mondays...soooo...i am determined to study after sch tmr. yes i will. i will...err...attempt. on an entirely different note, i CANNOT believe i missed the badminton men's singles finals yesterday. and taufik hidayat was playing. i can kicked myself upside down now. -__- if only i had checked my fone for mario's sms 4 hrs earlier....then maybe i wouldn't have missed it. what a loser. am i incoherent or what? too much basketball, tennis and badminton in 2 days.

I need to Sleep following our conversation in the lift about things that make us feel ugly (like eyebags and pimples), i decided to post an Dark Eye Circles/Eye Bags 101 entry. What? Actually just buildup of fluid, undereye bags often signal that you're not getting an adequate amt of sleep, ie seven to nine hours of sleep a night. As with bags, dark circles--which are simply veins showing through the thin skin, also result from a lack of sleep. Why Sleep? Sleep is when your body rejuvenates. Blood flow and circulation increases, eliminating waste products and delivering vital nutrients, like oxygen, to your skin. If you're getting plenty of shut-eye and still have puffy eyes, the culprit may be allergies, too much salt in your diet, poor circulation, hormonal changes, hereditary factors or simply the aging process. How now brown cow? 1. Apply a cold compress of rosemary tea to increase circulation 2. Eye massage (think primary school and those ridiculous finger exercises they taught you. they can now come in handy.) 3. Concealer 4. Cucumber If all else fails, there's surgery to remove the excess skin and fats under the eye. BUT i rather not, so i think i'll just go get some sleep. and maybe i should stop sleeping at erm. *looks around for a clock* 3.45am from now on.

bunny the rabbits now have a new home. they have moved from the living room to the balcony. we lined the whole balcony with newspaper and propped up 2 huge bicycle boxes (flattened of course) against the railing to allow the rabbits to run freely, without the worry of 20 storey free fall. hurhurhur. the cage is still there in case they want to sleep in it... i suspect we have 2 happier bunnies now. :)

Say Hi I met Mr Banana today after practical. He was sitting atop a car bumper. And he was made of...sock? So cute! I also want :P I watched badminton on sbs today. Thanks "someone" for the tag :D quote: "i've decided to move with the times man. icq is way 90s technology" - yongfeng after getting msn messenger (today!!). it's abt time dude.

Pang of Guilt argh i ought to be asleep now but i dont think i can get to sleep without getting this off my chest first. just thought of how we used to say "if i were someone else, i wouldnt want to be hated by me". and laughed about how "we were all so going to hell...". pretty much spent most of my shaping years in an obnoxious (thats the word my sis would have used) kind of environment. where independent and fiercely strong-willed young ladies focused all their energy on winning, yet most of them probably missed out on life's most impt things. not that im trying to portray a bad image of that certain institution that im very proud to be part of, mind you (if i had the choice of growing up again, i wouldnt have taken a different path. because it was in this same institution that i learnt so many precious things and made so many close friends). but as i grew older and hopefully nicer, i hate myself for all that i've done when i was younger and probably stupider. desperate. but where do i begin? that girl we used to laugh at in school? as much as i want to believe i'm no longer that nasty little girl i once was and that im a totally changed person, something tells me that part of it has been etched deep inside of me. and serious soul searching will probably detect that little timebomb stuck somewhere near the gut, waiting to explode and cause hurt to people within a mile-radius of me. maybe i should just hide away in a little corner of my room, and come into less contact with any thing/one that may be vulnerable to evil-su. but then, i rather not, cause that will take away all joy in living. so i apologize now and ask for forgiveness, because i make mistakes. (and with much faith i say this): with God, this timebomb of mine will eventually stop ticking and prove sedate. (not too wise, but i'll ask anyway): "so will u still be my friend?" i know i shldnt blog hop too much but i couldnt help reading it. maybe im just being oversensitive, but then again maybe that blog entry was about me (or ppl like me for that matter). i wouldnt know. after all i dont really know you. though you have a point, so do i: 'i didn't mean it, i probably just didnt see you.'

Happy Song These are a few of my favourite things... Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with string These are a few of my favourite things Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles moggies that fly with the moon on their wings These are a few of my favourite things girls in white dresses with blue satin sachets snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes silver white winters that melt into spring these are a few of my favourite things when the dog bites, when the bee stings and im feeling sad i simply remember my favourite things and then i dont feel so bad Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with string These are a few of my favourite things Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple strudels doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles moggies that fly with the moon on their wings thses are a few of my favourite things girls in white dresses with blue satin sachets snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes silver white winters that melt into spring these are a few of my favourite things when the dog bites, when the bee stings and im feeling sad i simply remember my favourite things and then i dont feel so bad

Listerine "Mr Joseph Lister discovered that mouldy urine has antibacterial properties..........." have u been using listerine lately? i use the green one. : i have decided. i'm going to visit vatican city at least once in my lifetime. hmm if i start saving now, maybe i'll be able to make it there in time for my honeymoon. : for now, i'll just have to make do with visiting it online http://www.vatican.va/ *Note anyone wants 2 cute rabbits complete with a big cage and food??? Tell Michelle! anyone wants to go on a ski trip from 3 sept to 5 sept??? Tell V Chan!

ooo ronald susilo is doing (surprisingly) very well in the olympics. http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/latest/story/0,4390,267593,00.html favourites (mine) like taufik and peter gade are doing very well too. i wish they had badminton on channel 7.

blah it's happening all over again. i am frustrated. i am bothered. after so much, im still the same person. when will i ever learn.

*su n the big big eye su: "look chad my eye's swollen" chad: "huh, no lah where got" *walks into the light* su: "see properly" chad: "oh ya hor!!!! looks like eyebags lah..." thanks. eyebags. seems like im on a lifelong mission to rid eyebags. >< special mention to gie n chad this is probably the 6th time ive edited this entry. i now have a phobia of clicking *publish post*. blogger is acting strange.

busy with...? just an insight of what we've been up to....(courtesy of eve's camera phone) You game?? Tell me!! And we end the day with durian gelati... :)

i've had enough! i spent a grand total of 9 hrs in front of the computer today and i've had enough! it was 4 hrs doing CAL in school and 5 hrs at work. i've faced enough radiation to mutate thousands of brain cells which are irreplaceable. bah. signs that my life is out of order: i only felt like a student yesterday. i dont know what i did the past 2 weeks. my dreams are occupied by the same people, person everyday. i wake up in the morning not knowing what day it is. im oversensitive. nose bleed aint getting better. so i thrashed alot of things from last semester and wiped my table again last night to rid all the dust. yes. im officially a biomed-ee. i officially like physiology. Windows is restarting.

haaaa i walked towards the biomed library after lecture. it's going to be my 3rd attempt. i recalled all my failed attempts and muttered silently under my breath. they always seem to be able to get it. im always too late. there must be some kind of skill involved that i obviously don't possess. it's the biomed instinct. i lurked dodgily between the shelves and to my disappointment...it was not there again. then my eyes caught sight of this red book. my heart skipped a beat as i picked it up and stared at the "7-Day Loan" label in front. what luck! for so many days i couldn't find the (probably) most sought after book (i think q-ing for hello kitty is easier)...and here i am holding one of its species that has a 7 Day loan attached to it. ho ho ho. sweet revenge. it is finally MY turn. i looked around in sadistic joy. the biomed-ees begin to stream in. i sneaked away with 2 books cradled in my arms. oh no. whats going on. im becoming one of................them. the biomed instinct? it's kicking in.

err do u think i need help? Disorder Rating Paranoid: High Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Moderate Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Low Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: High Avoidant: High Dependent: Moderate Obsessive-Compulsive: High URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mvURL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

Life, Illustrated su in lab su in warnet su in library su at home

it's a new day by 10am, i've already had 2 lectures. my daily breaks have doubled in time (in comparison to last sem) and i now spend at least 2 hrs in bailieu everyday. quite obviously, my rest time (not study time) has doubled too....(ya u can find me on the couch in the library). this morning i was so reluctant to wake up for my 8am lecture but mr conscience was rebelling while i was lazing around in bed. should have gone to bed abit earlier. 5 hrs of sleep is doing me no good. look and feel like a zombie. sigh. nonetheless it's a new day. i must say that last night was a mistake. (u girls know what i mean?) sorry and for that, i pray for patience and love. jiayou :)

rain rain go away yawn i spent most of the morning sleeping and most of the afternoon playing tennis in the rain. ok it wasnt raining the whole time...more like intermittent rain. so it wasn't that bad. jason came over at around noon and stood outside for some time. all was fine. when i went down and stepped out of the door that led to the tennis court, it started to rain on me. baahh!!! it just had to. oh well. the 3 of us played anyway. :P cell last night was good. quite positive about being in such a small group. we're officially A.C.I.D after Christ in desperation. it went from solid to salid to salad then to acid. dont ask how. :) i think from now on me n lou will bug jason everytime we see him: cut your hair thought: everyone cant wait for national day so that they can leave singapore for a holiday

batu gajah my parents were originally from batu gajah (bg) which is about an hr's drive from ipoh. it's a small small town where the most happening place is probably KFC (no macdonalds!). it's a nice place for a holiday but 3 days max (thats how small it is haha no wonder i was born in subang) . my parents are goin there tomorrow and im awfully jealous cause i want to go on a holiday too. i still have relatives (dad's family) there and it's quite a fun place cause everyone knows everyone (nah i dont know them but they know im my grandfather's son's daughter. ya.) and the food stalls always open till late. so when you're playing mahjong till 4am, it doesnt matter cause someone can just drive the car down to the "town" area which is like 5 mins away to get "fun" also known as noodles. incidentally, lou thinks her grandfather is there too...but she couldnt get the exact name of the place...it just has this landmark...and that landmark...(think JB dolphins haha ;)) how exciting. if it really is the same place. we can meet up! in the little yet happening (in a weird way) town of batu gajah....

frustrations i think of all the lousy stuff that has been bugging me throughout this week and it pales in comparison with things that i've so childishly pushed to the back of my mind although I know so clearly that these are things way more impt and way more urgent than the trivial ones. i am ashamed. it reemerges everyday. but it hit me today. the tears are only beginning to flow

chinese we (me n lou) were walking home from dinner tonight. we walked past the chinese mission church along little bourke st bet russell and exhibition (*near sharkfin house), which was quite strange cuz we seldom take the route. it was one of the rare times that the church doors were open and we heard singing coming from within...so we popped in n joined in their service. the place was pretty small....there were around 40 people (around the same number as my tute class!) and the place already looked quite full. they sang in both chinese n english...same song...just different languages....they prayed in chinese...but thank goodness the pastor preached in english. we awkwardly took a seat but no matter how much we tried to blend into the background, it was rather obvious we were new since everyone seemed to know everyone else. everyone turned to give us polite smiles....following that they passed us a...chinese bible. : we looked at each other and flipped nervously trying to find HEBREWS haha. after thepastor finished preaching they went on with their prayer meet....the other pastor now began speaking n praying in chinese....everyone was praying in chinese...i could barely understand. but enough to get the gist of it. the experience was nice. it was a simple place. not with drums, guitars and the works. just a piano and a whole congregation singing their hearts out. maybe we'll pop by again another day. in the meantime, i really need to improve on my chinese.

low profile...twice the dosage. we just officially had our last cell together. we are now two. looking forward to a new semester with a new (almost) cell group. and im sure alot of us have made some major decisions following the multiplication. *waves at eve* :) the paper thing was a good idea....im happy now. thanks to all of the 16 who wrote on it :)

ahh choo today's a sneezy day. ive been sneezing and blowing my nose the whole day....at lectures, in the library, at work, now at home. sigh. thanks to andri for an extra packet of tissue and thanks to eve for a whole box of tissue haha. speaking of which eve is officially my colleague now. sorry eve u're stuck with me now. no running. haa. hrm not like it's a bad thing. :D yay but at least i now have a bit of help...not so stressed anymore :) the agent just came again. i hate it when they do. they come so often. they come at funny times. they cause inconvenience and they dont take off their shoes! sigh. next time im going to paste a sign on the door. hrmphf. have to vacuum the carpet again tmr. in a funny mood. maybe it's just my cold. i want to eat chocolate.

Road Trip ok so i woke up at 750am this morning....on a SUNDAY morning!! i went to church with louise which is in oakleigh...so we had to take the 830am train to get there in time for the 930 service. the main purpose was to help her navigate her way back from church because she has taken over her sister's car (which was parked at a church mate's place)!! yay! oh i also met a friend at her church which was so odd because i didnt think i would meet anyone i know there. haha we didnt even know how each other looked like before that so it was so strange but nice :) shout out to esther! *wave* anyway, while getting home...we made a little detour to chadstone hehe to do abit of shopping. :P driver louise later we thought the weather was too nice to stay home...and since we had a car...we picked up a few girls to make our way to st kilda for coffee. :D that's me in the front seat and eve, mich and viv in the back seat BUT! st kilda was too crowded!!! so we drove on to port melbourne. which was really pretty!!! :) the place beautiful or what us waiting for our fish n chips ok so we mucked around abit so i conclude it was a day happily spent. apart from the time when me n lou almost got a heart attack cuz a car almost banged into us. it wasn't our fault! :D