i disappeared from singapore before i became trigger happy with my sister's camera.

digital pictures with bun were rare. the only way was to scan them in (like this one)

why i was in an RJ uniform...in my house....with an anonymous person next to me cut out of the pic remain unknown.

time frame: first 3 mths of jc probably. I LOOK THE SAME!

as much as the fact that the food at movida was good, it sucks to feel all full and fat. i had this really bizarre dream last night of myself getting a haircut by this guy who took the physical form of him (what the). i stressed on the fact that my hair cannot be short or it'll be ugly during the wedding but he chopped it off anyway. i knew that everything that was happening wasn't real. so in a bizarre way, i knew that i was actually dreaming. which made it so easy for me to beat up poor hairdresser with all my might for insisting that short hair was actually good for me. and you know how 'all my might' actually broke a key. strangest bit was that i decided to ask him out after a few days by smsing "ok lah. im fine. let's go kai-kai" who on earth asks someone out like that! it was no wonder i woke up less stressed. almost like a brand new person. (then again, it could have been because of yesterday's steam bath) but i had an extremely long day at work...and unknown precipitation (yes that was today's weather forecast) fell on us while we were trying to make our way to movida in heels. so i think i need another dodgy dream tonight to unwind. speaking of work..i really need to start getting used to the fact that i will have to break the little mouse's spinal cord to kill it for its organs. the mouse room's ridiculous. you have to change into scrubs, wear another coat on top of that, put on hair cap and be paranoid about which section of floor you step on because after a certain region you have to double up on the shoe covering just to get in. we got a table at camberwell market on Sunday, September 11! YAY! i want to eat mooncake. i really really want to. :(

as the rest of the girls prepare for tomorrow's test, i can't help but feel so thankful i didnt take another semester of patho because it would have driven me up the wall by now. with that, i assure you brave girls, you'll be in my prayers tonight.

going out for solitude walks have been my form of remedy for a heavy heart. there's just something about staying at home that makes me more frustrated...especially with the mayhem in my room (still trying to dig out stuff to sell!). (besides, everyone else is studying for a test. who's going to entertain me if i dont entertain myself.)
but i know that it's a sure sign i'm getting older when i realise gone are the days when i had no qualms (at all) about going out alone late at night. age has somehow increased my sensitivity to every dodgy sound.

isn't it strange how both love and fear can make your heart beat faster?

lou found this cheesy saying on ivillage that goes "where your feet leads, your heart will follow"- which until now i've found no meaning in. but my feet did manage to bring me to docklands... which was good because my heart needed to go somewhere prettier than the city.


there are some people who have so much character that you can immediately describe them. and then there are those like me who have such an undefined character you can only used generic terms such as "nice" and "friendly" if you're polite enough or "boring" and "awful" if you're candid enough.

in all honesty
if i asked you to describe me in 3 sentences, what would you say?

can you even say?

it doesnt take much to make me happy. but it doesnt take much to bring me down either.

we've decided to open a stall at the camberwell market next week or 2 weeks from now. gie, lou and i are guilty of having too many things and it feels so good to be cleaning out my wardrobe so that i can earn money and make room for more stuff. ok i promise i'll try to keep it empty in light of potential housing woes. :( i have so many things to sell i might need to spread it over 2 weeks.

don't you hate it when people on friendster write testimonials such as... hi su ee. how ru? so long nv see u. i dont really noe this girl but all i can rmb abt her is that she is a nice girl. erm... yah. tts abt it. stay cute yah?? take care. cheers! waaah i'm so honoured, you wrote a testimonial for me. louise chew. wat can i say about her man... known her for a while only...met her that time because he intro us. don't really know much but she is very friendly and very kind. remember to stay cool and keep in touch ok! sometimes we wonder why they even bother. hurhur anyway big buns rock. urm these kind of buns. can feed an army! can also double up as coaster frisbee pillow and err best friend. (no bun, err pun, intended.)

i cant believe you still have the habit of going to the toilet halfway through our conversation (the echo is evident!); i know you so well i can tell what ildm stands for with just 1 guess; we've come such a long way that we've moved on to talking abt my sister's wedding and HUSBAND, not BF; how you're probably the only person who calls me vainpot (and stressing on the 'pot' bit everytime u say it) and that i get reminded of you (and how you say it) whenever i think of that word; that you've finally decided that you'll give jeans a go after sooo long; that you think my daughter is going to be such a spoilt pink princess you just have to give her some blue clothes to offset the wardrobe.. and most of all i cant believe you bought a 4.8V vacuum cleaner that doesnt even make a piece of paper flap. to think we have to resort to calling cards when we once lived only 10 mins from each other. and to think i freaked out at the thought of moving to the east when you're now in a totally different hemisphere. phonecalls end up being so precious when you haven't heard from a friend for a while. but at least we've got geographical distance. so what's your excuse? i can hear the birds chirping already and i figured i'll just take this chance to stay up since i cant really do that on weekdays. i'm like a nocturnal trying to wean herself off late nights but still gets occasional withdrawal symptoms. the mooncake supply in our house officially ran out tonight and all my efforts of trying to make it last has been pretty unsuccessful considering my weakness for that sweet and fattening thing. alongside with pineapple tarts, i'd gladly eat it for dinner. strangely these are the things that make me miss singapore. not laksa, not nasi lemak, not chicken rice. but mooncake and pineapple tarts. i'm getting bored. i need some kind of lifestyle makeover. if lou really follows up with her threat to pack up and return to singapore for good after this yr...(and hence deem me housemate-less) (noooo...!)), i might just do something as drastic as moving into college. but she reckons i'd need 2 rooms. 1 for living in...and 1 for storage (and wardrobe?) purposes. pooey. i realised that everytime i make a momentous decision regarding this same thing that has been bugging me for the longest time, something would come (in the most timely fashion mind you) to thwart my big plans. im really beginning to feel like it's either a cruel joke being played on me...or that you have fixed some kinda surveillance in the little corner of my brain to watch my thoughts closely. either way, it's not funny. if i stayed awake for another 20 mins, i'd be in time for the cantonese news on sbs. my goodness. i cant remember the last time i heard news in cantonese. the neighbours are back..looks like i'm not the only one up!

i've been a very naughty girl this week and punishment came in the form of a very very bad test. i promise to be good from now on :(

you could almost think that this set of teeth belonged to a vampire. no?

i was really bored and went to take pictures of some of my shoes before technology decided to fail me. i figured that you've been spending too much time with me if you've seen all the shoes in this picture. worse if you've seen everything else that is NOT in this picture. lou's one of these (fortunate) people but she doesnt count because she lives with me.

ah crap. i need to get back to studying for my test. i visited bailieu for the first time this sem (if cannot study properly, at least pretend to try. no?).
hmm. long time no see old pal.

because it has a dashboard which allows me to blog directly from it.

i dont understand how people can look so good doing the stupidest moves in fitness classes. (think right arm punching the ceiling and left leg kicking to the side WHILE trying to hop in the same direction as the punching arm.) i ended up looking like a mad monkey with arms flailing and no apparent co-ordination. i was one of the only two newcomers (out of 30 people!) in this class and it was one of those you-cannot-anyhow-stop-jumping-around-because-people-will-crash-into-you-when-they-move-front-n-back kind of thing. now that was familiar. almost like.. badminton P.T. all over again. even the room smelt like the school hall! but if given a chance to go back a few years, i'd play some eurythmics during training too. i can't believe i didn't think of it! oh yes, im so bloody unfit.

i will never learn that squatting by the oven to stare at whatever does not help in the baking process at all.

if you were wondering what's that in the oven. dont bother. i have no idea either.

ok yes it was SUPPOSED to be apple strudel but it didnt exactly work out the way i wanted it to. seems like i've been having more failures than successes at the oven lately. i should stick to things im more familiar with.

so i ended up having to improvise and use the rest of the filling for apple-whatevers. i cant decide what it shld be called. apple bombs? ho-hum.

i should also learn that things don't just disappear from your life with a haircut. though therapeutic, i need to realise that half-ing the amount of hair on my head (i wish i could half the length but i reckon my mummy will freak out with the wedding in mind) only results in having a lighter load on top of the head but not definitely not a lighter load in the head. i attribute this headache to the cold wind outside. always blame it on something else.

since i'm at it already, i shall just try cure my headache with more therapy.
lou and i look ridiculous. i have a pink-masked face with my hair in a towel to try cook it in treatment wax. she has a white-masked face and is errrrr in a towel. don't start getting ideas.
vivien will be back in an hr!

we know that it's easy for us to allow the world to revolve around ourselves. but it just feels so strange to know that there are people who would allow the world to revolve around everyone/thing else except themselves. not that it's a bad thing.. but extreme behaviour is always dangerous. come on, even drinking too much water can be toxic to your body (you could tell your mummy that the next time she asks you to drink more water. or is my mummy the only mummy who does such a thing?). i mean. why cant they just leave at least a bit of the world to themselves. like even if it were the size of singapore (if still cannot, then pulau ubin?). what if. only what if. you end up totally missing the point because you never gave yourself a chance to discover it? whatever that point may be. nevermind, don't bother trying to understand what im trying to say.

only a gentle reminder: be nice to me. otherwise... i hire steven lim to strip at your party. O_O hurhurhur.

im no where near taiwan or usa both geographically and err citizenship-ily. so the reason why my blog is on this website is still a mystery.

hello, healthy-wholesome-lifestyle-su. why are you back to your old sleep-only-when-the-sun-rises habit. noooooo. i going to get already have eyebags. at times like these...listening to songs with really pretty lyrics (like katie melua and corrinne may) or songs featuring sultry voices with a violent allure...sorta in a kill bill way (like shivaree and nancy sinatra) is ideal. mood songs, i call them. for late nights, rainy weather or with a hot cup of milo. i really wish i knew why the embed tag can work in everyone's blog except mine. do you know why?

you wouldnt know how good something is until you've actually tried it. just like how you wouldn't have known omelette with honey could taste so good (bet you didnt think so!) then again, if you didnt know its goodness, you wouldn't crave it later. maybe it's like how you can't lose something you don't already have. i dont make sense huh? nothing does.

i really need to do something exciting. but i can't think of anything now.

i was just waiting for the incubation period to be over when my colleague asked me what i do in my spare time. like for enjoyment. and i went... "oh! well. i..." "err..." "hmm." "good question." "now that ithink about it.........." "hrm" O_O *looks at her with wide-eyed wonder* "nothing!" i didn't even realise i dont have time for anything much. then again it wasn't really because i was busy every single hour of the day. just that if i did have the time, i didnt seem to have the energy. "oh no! i've got no life!" "so what do you do??" she goes... "err. hrm. well. erm. hmmmmmmm" "oh no! i've got no life either!" looking at her, i now know where im headed. i guess im already halfway there. and i need to finish a report tonight. i really want to sleep. really. after some serious thought, i decided that this must change. yes it must. let's start from finishing my report before tuesdays so that i can watch half priced movies.........hmm

what i really don't understand is how porn can appear in response to my "don moen" search. i mean. in what way does don moen sound like. err. errrr. errrrr. lusty 19 yr old teenager with super hot body.wmv. ok that is the most decent sounding thing on the list. dont ask about the rest. -_- there's this guy from china who would come into the bookshop every week and spend hundreds of dollars each time. ok not hundreds as in 5, 6 hundred but like about 2 hundred each time? BUT that amounts to at least 700 bucks a month which is well, ALOT to be spent in a bookshop. he says he loves giving people presents. im beginning to think that i should start making friends with people like that. hiakhiakhiak. it's very strange how lou and i can not seem to find the remote control. it has gone missing for at least 2 weeks now. we've tried looking for it while packing the living room but we just couldn't find it. i suspect it fell into the bin somehow and we threw it away accidentally. there is no other explanation. :( i've even tried looking in the kitchen! update: lou found the remote control today because sofia told her where it was. yes, SOFIA. she's not an occupant of this house but she knew where the control was. we found out that when sofia was over at our place a few days ago she saw the control tightly kiapped between the cushions on the couch and thought we kiapped it there on purpose so she put it back there after looking at it. what the! it's a good thing lou complained about the remote today. hiakhiakhiak. anyway, you know you're mailing/msning/smsing something dodgy when you have to check the recipient's emailadd/nick/phonenumber a few times before pressing/clicking/entering "send". i hate sending stuff to the wrong people. it's oh-too-familiar to me already. again i started typing this post at 9.17 and im concluding it at 11.45. it was even enough time for me to find out that the remote control has been found. i ought to stop opening many windows lest i forget abt poor ol' blogger.

im starting to get that sunday feeling again. you know that familiar dread of monday which we often get in secondary school. i don't know about you but i got it every week. i refused to go out on sundays because i needed to stay at home and prepare myself for a busy week of school, training, duties, tuition etc. havent had that feeling in a long time. until now. but it feels good to be able to sit around and do nothing except to wait for csi on tv. i dont even feel like shopping i tried adding a player on the sidebar of my blog. i want to put some music on the blog but i cant stand it when the music just goes on and on without the reader being able to stop it. it's disruptive to my own music. anyway, i did manage to add it but as usual it only works on safari, not internet explorer. i really hate this. im addicted to peas. not the nua kind you find in fried rice. the krip-sy kacang puteh. lou always rolls her eyes when i say krip-sy because it can almost fool her into thinking that it is actually a proper word (along with a whole range of other words. hurhur i love doing that) but i dont know. it just makes the food sound..erm... crispier. krip-sy. crispy. krip-sy. crispy. no? i started blogging at 4.35. it's now 6.30. i completely forgot i was halfway through a post. anyway im trying out the Mac Msn Messenger 5.0 now and it's way cooler than the older version. but it has only been 10 mins and i miss my dear ol' Adium already yoghurt with milo and honey must be the best thing that has happened to me in weeks. there are some things that just cant go wrong. nutella's one of them and so is milo. later: on some tagboard. *su: gotta be a slacker for as long as i can before i spend the rest of my life slogging away lah. unless u find me a riccch husband. studying would be good option for now. yenee: suee - no man in the right mind would wanna marry u! righto. i get the idea. *sink back into the couch and continues being a csi couch potato* *grunt*

crap. i want to karaoke. chee_kong_wong: is late. i let you go mummy waiting for my call he let me go? i'm glad he has a sense of humour. inveteracy is not good enough anymore. this post is so random.

i love fridays. no i actually love thursday nights. cause that is almost the beginning of my weekend depending on whether i have that one hr class on fridays. i am glad i didnt schedule myself to go into the lab on fridays. got awoken this morning by fone calls from different people and a strange male voice in my living room. wanted to pretend i was dreaming and i couldnt help thinking that perhaps i was really hiding some guy under my couch. but nah today was the day the agent was going to come to do a spotcheck. unglam in bed and in pjs, i wish he could just help himself around the house. well i guess he kinda did. even managed to check out the transparencies in the file on the floor. gee. my friend reminded me today i have a decade of shelf life left. he meant it in a good way. like you STILL have 10 years! but i freaked out when he said a decade cause it's way short. i said i want 2 decades. and he insisted i've gotten mine already. i'm feeling extremely comforted a.t.m. indeed. my sis found this birkies site. and they are pretty cheap! i dont know why! and delivery is free if you buy around A$199 worth of shoes. in sg its S$249. im going to get new birks! :) i want to go on a holiday. i wouldn't mind buying an air ticket to another state (another country? NZ?) and spend a few days there. wouldnt mind missing 1 or 2 lectures to do that. wouldn't mind. but i can't because of other commitments. this sucks. cant believe i'm sipping milo, shopping online and planning on sleeping soon. on a friday night. argh.

i didnt know victoria (or any part of australia for tt matter) was capable of snow Snow falls throughout Victoria The weather bureau expects snowfalls in Melbourne's elevated suburbs and throughout Victoria as a cold snap hits the state. The bureau is forecasting snow down to 300 metres and says it is assessing a report of snow on Mount Dandenong. Snow has been reported in the state's south-west in the towns of Hamilton, Dunkeld, Heywood and Wannon. Snow is also falling at Ballan and Lal Lal in central Victoria. Police say heavy hail storms in Warrnambool this morning have caused several vehicles to come off roads. In some areas of Gippsland, in the state's south-east, motorists are reporting two inches of snow . Kevin Whelan from Outrim near Korumburra says he has been stranded at Mirboo North because of the continuing snow. He says it was too dangerous to keep driving. "The chap at the milk bar said it's been 20 years since he's seen snow like this," Mr Whelan said. "I just called to see how far towards the valley it went because driving's fairly dangerous and you can't see the white posts or any white lines or the reflectors on the road there's that much snow." Mr Whelan says in some areas he could not tell the road from the paddocks. "There's two inches of snow over the bitumen road, shop verandahs with snow on the roof, cars on the street covered in snow, even a milk tanker just went through with snow on the top of him." Snow is also falling in the Strzelecki Ranges in South Gippsland through to the Latrobe Valley. it's a crazy 3 degrees now and im armed with a heater that goes off in the middle of the night and a thin quilt. i still want my electric blankie. cold, damn cold.

it's days like these that tempt me into buying a new quilt. a thick feathered one. or even better an electric blankie. i want an electric blankie. but will it short circuit? fried-su. i might just invest in one. different departments/institutes are now bombarding the third years with potential honours projects. it's such a hassle trying to find a suitable project and supervisor. we all want something perfect. reputable institute, nice supervisor, heaps of funding, potential publication, conference opportunities, scholarships, good facilities. the list goes on and we've been instructed to find out about all these things before we dive into a commitment. they say it'll be good for you. i say if i manage (somehow) to dig everything i want to know about every supervisor, i'll only be able to make up my mind next year. but i think i'll just do what they say. -_-" i hate how i dont know what to do after this year. i made up my mind to just go on with the boring route of doing my honours and potentially post-grad after next yr. i seem decided because i'm just too lazy to go figure out other alternatives (that would prob be more exciting). and there's just this balance one has to strike...between doing something you love and doing something you know or something you're good at. since i don't know what i love, i'll stick to doing something i already know (im not good at it. but at least im familiar with it). and unless someone can suggest something exciting... i really think i'll end up in a lab. eeps. >.<

i forgot it's national day today. i only realised that 9th august actually meant something when i caught my own reflection in Uni. i was in RED n WHITE. [don't mind the towel. err i mean flag lou is holding up. and dont u just love the red bean bag] don't i look familiar? dont i look like........ singapore's 40. i've been its citizen for 13 years. my goodness, singapore's young. and because i have a report due tomorrow and i'll be stuck in front of imacjohn tonight....i've never wanted to celebrate national day more than now. but i cant believe lou's is waiting to watch ndp online. she's counting down the minutes....

it's a nice feeling to have someone catch you before you hit the ground when you faint. doesnt even matter who.

i have this sudden urge to play bridge with the "pro" (uhh) and our 2 good ol' burwood/paramount partners. play and play and play. only stopping when the sun comes up. and it would be nice for us to eat mee siam out of one box as well. just like old times. hugh grant does middle-aged men alot of justice.

yes we are still rearranging stuff around the house (back to its original position so no difference will be observed). but it's going to be improved and that sofa in the picture has the same shape as ours. the very same sofa i always feel drowsy in. i have no idea why.

it's ALREADY saturday. where did my weekend go to. the routine of weekdays is starting to annoy me...and it's only the second week. *gives a dramatic sigh*

we did go on our shopping excursion to moorabbin today. and i did manage to get myself (another) 2 pairs of shoes and (another) bag. BUT i know something's up when i dont feel like shopping at all.

guys should learn to change their pick up lines from time to time. they never know whether the girl they just tried to make conversation with is friends with one he tried to talk to a few months ago.

lou and i decided to go for a pilates class together yesterday but it got cancelled and was replaced by a yoga instructor. the same yoga instructor who i strongly believe does not wear underwear (lou said she cant see but i say it's too darn obvious to miss. and no, i did not spend the whole time staring at his pants. it was just too in my face). *shifty eye look* he said "yoga is about the subconscious mind. and the subconscious mind is in the pelvis" go figure.

looks like the changing of my room's fengshui has rubbed off abit on the rest of this household. ok the only other person around is louise. we were in the midst of shifting stuff around the living room when we decided that our old position was still the best. SO we shifted everything BACK to its original position. we havent finished doing that (we're too tired) so our sofa is in a very dodgy place now...in the middle of nowhere. in the middle of the living room actually. but at least we've got a very organised workstation that we created out of a coffee table. read back-to-back screens, printers and speakers. hiak. lou's comp can now get properly acquainted with john. imac john. (looks like john will never get a new name. it's even beginning to have a nice ring to it. john. john.) the weather is just nonsense. which is no wonder why im feeling under it. err under the weather. lou says that looking at a big screen can cause a headache but i refuse to believe john would do such a thing to me. i attribute the boomboom in my head to a combination of the weather, car rides, hunger and a very messy playlist because i just transfered my songs from the old comp to the new. and if my sofa can be in the middle of the living room, i wouldn't expect myself to be bothered with organising 17gb of songs. no not at all. not now at least. some other time maybe. for now, i think i'll just sleep. i need enough rest for a shopping excursion tomorrow.

Look what i received in the mail today!

haha

thank you :)

i was looking through all the absolut ads because i think they are all very pretty. lou described them as 'sexy' and i really agreed until i saw this.

absolut singapore.

sexy simi sexy.
p/s: because i'm a nininehneh, i downloaded internet explorer for mac JUST to see my centralised banner. so troublesome. but im pleased. nyaha. i realised singapore friends all cannot see cause they r all using safari or mozilla. pp/s: then i found new problems. banner's centralised on IE but font of about me is different from the rest. ppp/s: i think i give up. until the next time i feel boliao.

i'm packing and adjusting the fengshui of my room. ok i didn't consult any silly ba-gua or compass but i'm just rearranging my furniture because i'm bored of the old. i'm waiting for files to transfer from my old comp so that i can really keep it away and convert my computer table into err a dressing table. how vain. :) i can't wait for my 'new' room. and i can't wait to re-read austen. school starts at 11am tomorrow. suddenly everything seems too good to be true.

even scientists can be cunning. they are absolutely capable of being inethical. just look at me Perspective rainy weather, fish brown rice porridge and tv is pure bliss craving, fish brown rice porridge and seeing food on shiokadelicious? pure torture.

there was an article on the noticeboard in svi (im such a sucker for article-on-boards huh) about some guy in america who was dead at his desk for FIVE whole days before people realised that he actually had a heart attack while proofreading medical txtbooks (oh the irony). they said that this guy always arrived before everyone else and would only leave the office when it was empty. so they thought it was quite normal to see him sitting at his desk all day long. how stupid. but anyway the point of the story as told at the end of the article is Don't Work So Hard, NOBODY NOTICES ANYWAY if you're an article junkie like i am, and want to look like you're doing something substantial at work when you're actually not (after all, nobody would notice) you could check out the medical electronic journals (you can access them through the lib website). they have very interesting stuff....i was searching for my usual Nature and Cell and Science journals when i saw things like journal of parapsychology, journal of sleep research, journal of theoretical biology (THEORETICAL?) and some life after death thing which i can't remember now. it keeps me entertained most of the time.

i tried fixing the banner because (somehow) only my singapore friends can see it (and myself. on imac john). and i say singapore friends because if you were an australia friend and tried to view it in singapore, IT WON'T WORK. it is SO strange. i couldn't see it myself when i was back in sg. so while trying to fix it, i decided to do more changes. that "psychedelic looking thingyy" as murf describes it to be happens to be me and strangely this banner is NOT centralised on my comp. it's like stuck to the side. but STRANGELY (again) it is centralised on everyone else's comps so i shall compromise. maybe my screen's too big but i really don't understand. oh well. can someone tell me how to remove that annoying little box between the "pictures" and the flickr badge.

i was looking in friendster and i got a big shock (chibaboom!) when i saw that my 15yo cousin's status was IN A RELATIONSHIP. to begin with i didnt realise she's ALREADY 15 (and not like 12). but my point is. isn't she still too young for that! chewren these days. yes,yes we were all i-am-15-and-i-am-invincible once. while waiting for lou to finish up her prac, i read an article posted up on the zoology noticeboard. some russian research group found that BEATING (esp on the buttocks) releases truckloads of endorphins in the body. yes the same endorphins released when you have sex or eat chocolate. the feel-good hormones in more simple terms. so they designed some kind of therapy that involves beating people's butts to make them happy and charge A$140 for that. apparently beating releases the MOST endorphons compared to other stuff. seriously i think i'll just stick to chocolates. it sure beats (pun intended) having someone whacking my bum. im happy (no i didnt get a beating). i added pictures on flickr. and i'm craving milo powder.