Insomnia-Causing Agents i know..i shld stop complaining about being sleepless in case it induces sleep in you (-_-). but i managed to put a finger on what has been bothering me. "I Believe" is droning on in the background and i'm brought back to marriott days (prob the best days i've had here. so far. even when things didnt turn out the way i wanted them to.) looking through friendster yesterday shocked me into realization that there are so many things that i feel so sorry for. i'm not an ideal friend. as in. sometimes i just don't put in enough effort. perhaps. just looking at the number of relationships with various people that have ever since been left out in the cold since i decided that i have "no need" for it anymore (subconscious decision of course.) saddens me. it makes me wonder why didn't i just stick around? i don't know whether you get what i mean because i don't exactly want to be extremely explicit either. but it's how you look back and realise you feel so sad that some things just had to turn out a certain way. but it's even sadder when there's nothing you can do about it because when you're hanging out, everything can melt away and bring you back to the past...but the relational friction comes back to haunt you and remind you once you're apart. so back to insomnia-causing agents apart from that lousy-friend bit also comes the problem of "WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID, SU!" (for courting trouble when it doesn't even court you)

it's like a some kind of sadistic plan to destroy myself.

so i shall, like bun puts it, "flee from temptation island". bother me no more i say! no more at all. i hope.